Home Country

By Slim Randles

October 19, 2007

"You hear they might have a spaceship on Pluto already?" Dud said, flipping his coffee cup into the upright and ready-to-fill position. Loretta came over with the coffee pot.

"Who’s they?" asked Doc.

"Oh … the Russians," Dud said. "Heard about it late last night on the radio."

Herb looked over. "Wonder what they want up there. Not much going on, I don’t think. Just a little cold planet out there."

"Not even that," said Steve, twitching his walrus moustaches. "I heard they took Pluto out of it."

"Out of what?"

"Out of the planet list. It’s not a planet any more. They deplanetized the poor little booger."

"What is it then?"

"Just a cold rock flying around out there, I guess."

They sipped on that revelation for a few minutes.

"So what you’re saying is that IF the Russians sent a spaceship to Pluto, they didn’t send it to a planet, right?"

"Well, no," said Steve. "Because of the time, you see. IF the Russians sent a spaceship to Pluto, they woulda had to start it on its way when it was still a planet."

"But when they got there…."

Steve nodded. "All they found was this cold rock, and not a planet at all."

Herb took a sip. "Bummer," he said.

Loretta poured refills. "Is this what they call counter intelligence?"

Brought to you by Ol’ Max Evans, the First Thousand Years. Available at www.slimrandles.com.